一千零一件除了热情还需要去考虑的事情

已经周末了，还没有从周中那个疲惫和紧绷的量子纠缠里逃离，倒是往里面加入了一些获得感和难以言说的东⻄。我是个效率很差劲的人，经常不知道自己为什么忙，就像去游泳池里探秘尼斯湖水怪一样。虽然我还是要为开会迟到的时间和所有没回的消息像全世界各种各样的人道歉，但上周的忙是具象的，我知道自己在忙什么，知道了什么是这个忙可以带给我的，甚至让我感受到了“苦中作乐”的生活哲学。

真要溯源事情大概得从上学期末讲起，但我太累就不想讲那么详细了。省流一下，就是我们社团从零加入了一个筹备了四个月的活动，但活动两周后就要开始。这个活动是学生举办学校支持的特殊周“Diversability week”，旨在提升社会关于特殊能力人群的关爱和了解，并尽我们所能提供一些帮助。但其实我们只负责这一周里一个两个半小时的workshop，我原来觉得这点工作量凭着热情和努力就是洒洒水，但做了发现原来神经是有点大条……

我们联系对接了常熟市特殊教育学校，负责关于智力障碍儿童的相关事务。经过讨论后，我们设计了一个帮助特殊孩子们在迷路后如何向路人问路的挑战，并在学校里邀请志愿者去教授这个挑战。当我们想出这个点子、并准备信心满满的准备向学校Experiential Learning Office的老师讨论方案的时候，却遇到了根本没有想过的问题。EL的老师要求所有当天会和孩子对接的人提前一周去常熟市特殊教育学校，熟悉孩子情况并培养感情。这就代表只能我们社团的同学去承担这个任务，而为了这个任务报名的志愿者们只能去做相对边缘化的工作。这让我们几个社⻓真的很为难。我当场就把眉皱成了个圈，加上我眉毛特别浓，如同在额头上直接画了个太极图一般。肯定是看出了我们几个的不情愿，老师也跟我们打太极，就说他们也没办法之类的。但最后的最后，一个老师的一句话深深触动了我，她说:“你办这个活动，你优先考虑的一定是孩子们，而不是我们这里的同学。” 一句话四两拨千斤，攻破了太极八卦阵，当时我感觉被击中了一般。引用一段我回去后写给朋友信里的话：“帮助别人是很难的事，热情当然是最重要的事，但如果只有简单的热情，觉得我帮助别人的原因是我要帮助别人，为了达到我自己的某个道德要求，最后永远会变成自我感动。服务，帮助的意义或许就在于一切是从对方出发，由我牺牲掉我的一部分来成全你。这需要永远把他人的需求放在第一位的无私。如果你做支教，你该提前联系你要帮助的人，说你觉得你希望我教你什么，然后你去准备甚至学习相应的材料，而不该是直接教你比较擅⻓的科目”。一千零一件之一：如何去引导自己的热情，让它温暖而非灼伤别人。

感谢所有在这个活动里出力的人，一直跟我们对接的特殊学校的老师，我们的社团指导老师，因为我们不够成熟、导致任务一变再变却没有抱怨的志愿者和社员成员们，还有帮我们布置场地的保安叔叔，等等。没有想到达成这个目标需要麻烦这么多的人，我个人的力量比我以为的弱小的多。记得活动开始前的最后一天，我们需要跟社员成员和志愿者们核对，他们是否已经清楚自己的任务和注意事项，我们三个社⻓对这个事情有一个很激烈的讨论。有的人认为，我们应该事无巨细的把所有的信息完全呈现给他们以防止任何不确定性；有的人则认为，我们没有办法像保姆一样帮他们安排准备好所有的事情，每个人也有自己的事情要忙，况且不确定性永远无法被避免。经过一晚上的讨论，我们最后把两种观点结合和折中了一下，达到了显著的完成度，帮助确保了活动的进行。毕竟一件事情永远无法成为我们生活的全部，再重要的事情也是如此。生活中许多的方面和关系也要去权衡、抉择和舍弃。一千零一件之二：如何平衡生活的不同方面。

这个文章没有办法写太⻓，而且我也不可能真扯出一千零一件事情来，所以很抱歉我只简单提两件，但其他的事情比如如何去换位思考，如何去提供备选方案等也都需要被纳入考虑范畴，尽管我原来完全没有意识到。但当你去考虑一千零一件除了热情以外的事，你就会有一千零一件除了热情以外的收获。你收获了自我的成⻓，你收获了精神上的富足，你收获了一群志同道合的朋友……

最后的最后，感谢这个无数次让我臆想撂挑子不干了的事情！

It’s already the weekend, yet I haven’t escaped the exhaustion and tension lingering from the week —though, in exchange, I’ve gained some sense of accomplishment and an indescribable something else. I am inefficient; I often don’t know why I’m so busy, as if searching for the Loch Ness Monster in a swimming pool. Even though I still owe apologies to various people around the world for late meetings and unanswered messages, last week’s busyness was concrete. I knew what I was busy with and understood what this busyness brought me, even giving me a taste of “finding joy in hardship.”

If we were to trace it all back, I’d have to start at the end of last semester, but I’m too tired to get into such detail. Here’s a quick summary: our club joined an activity that had been in preparation for four months but would start in just two weeks. This event, Diversability Week, was a student-led, school-supported initiative aimed at promoting awareness and empathy for people with special needs. Our responsibility was a single two-and-a-half-hour workshop during the week. I initially thought that this small amount of work could easily be handled with passion and effort. But as I got into it, I realized I was slightly naive…

We contacted Changshu Special Education School to address issues related to children with intellectual disabilities. After some discussion, we designed a challenge to help these children learn how to ask strangers for directions if they get lost, and we invited volunteers from our school to teach them. Confidently, we prepared our plan and presented it to our Experiential Learning (EL) Office teacher, only to encounter issues we had never anticipated. The EL teacher required everyone who would interact with the children to visit the special education school a week in advance to familiarize themselves with the children and build rapport. This meant that only our zhixing members could take on this role, while the volunteers who signed up would be left with more peripheral tasks. This left us, the zhixing leaders, in a bind. I immediately frowned, forming a circle with my brows that, given their thickness, looked like a yin-yang symbol on my forehead. The teacher must have noticed our reluctance because she kept deflecting by saying there was no other option. But finally, she struck us with a single line that profoundly impacted me: “If you’re holding this event, the children must be your priority, not our classmates.”

It was a line that effortlessly dismantled our hesitation. In that moment, I felt struck. I remember writing to a friend later, saying: “Helping others is hard. Passion is essential, of course, but if you’re driven solely by the desire to help others to satisfy your own sense of moral duty, it will eventually turn into self-congratulation. True service lies in starting with the other person’s needs and sacrificing part of yourself for them. This requires selflessness, always prioritizing the other’s needs. If you’re teaching, you should first ask the students what they want to learn and then prepare or study the material accordingly, rather than simply teaching what you know best.” The first of a thousand and one things: how to channel your passion to warm, not burn others.

I’m grateful to everyone who contributed to this event—the teachers at the special school, our club advisors, volunteers who adapted as tasks changed, and the security guards who helped us set up the space. I hadn’t realized that accomplishing this goal would involve so many people, nor how small my personal strength was in comparison. The night before the event, we had a heated discussion among the club leaders, double-checking if everyone understood their tasks and responsibilities. Some thought we should provide every detail to eliminate any uncertainty; others felt we couldn’t micromanage and had our own tasks to focus on. After a long night of debate, we reached a compromise, achieving a high level of completion and ensuring the event’s success. After all, no one task can encompass our entire lives. There are always multiple facets of life to balance, choose, and sometimes sacrifice. The second of a thousand and one things: how to balance different aspects of life.

This article isn’t long enough to cover everything, and I can’t list a thousand and one things here, so I apologize for mentioning only two. Other considerations, like empathy and offering alternative solutions, also belong on this list, though I hadn’t realized it before. When you take into account a thousand and one things beyond passion, you’ll gain a thousand and one rewards beyond passion itself. You’ll gain personal growth, spiritual fulfillment, and a group of like-minded friends…

In the end, I’m grateful for this event that made me fantasize countless times about throwing in the towel!

——End of Entry——